1) Dress for airport security. Do NOT be the jerk in line who holds everybody up while they slip off gold chains, belts and watches and acts surprised they can’t bring their jug of soda on the plane. Also, wear easy shoes to slip on and off.

2) Be prepared to be stuck in an airport for indeterminate periods of time. Shit happens. So load your device with as many games, songs, apps, and e-books as possible to keep busy during long waits. Also pack a charger to power up.

3) Remember to bring something scrunchy and long sleeved like a sweatshirt. You might need it as a pillow.

4) Try — really try — to avoid eating on the plane. Investigate airport food options beforehand. If, as with many airports, the food sucks, eat first. Try and sleep on the flight.

5) Wherever you are, eat what the locals are good at or famous for — WHERE the locals like to eat it. Do NOT rely on your concierge for dining tips. He’s in the business of making TOURISTS happy. You want the places that make locals happy. Seek out places crowded with locals. Avoid places with others of your kind present.

6) People everywhere like it when you are appreciative of their food. I cannot stress enough how important to any possible relationships you might make abroad your initial reactions to offerings of local specialties. Smile and try and look happy even if you don’t like it. If you DO like it, let them know through word or gesture of appreciation.

7) Bring anti-diarrhea medicine. You WILL be getting the shits. It’s an occupational hazard — and it shouldn’t throw you off your game.

8) Never SHOW anger, impatience or frustration. In Europe, it rarely helps. And in Asia it’s a sign of weakness. Zen like calm at all times…until you can’t.

9) Get up early and check out the central food market. It’s a fast way into a culture (where you’ll see the basics of the cuisine) and often find local prepared foods at stands or stalls serving market workers.

10) Get over any inflexible notions of what a “toilet” is.

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